16 Simple Ways to Connect with Anyone & Be Unforgettable Instantly

16 Simple Ways to Connect with Anyone & Be Unforgettable Instantly

1. Make friends. This is the foundation. Making genuine connections is nothing more than making friends. When you’re about to approach someone, ask, “How would I treat this person if they were my close friend or someone I’d want to be a close friend?” You don’t have hidden agendas and constantly push products and talk about yourself with your friends. You put friends first. You listen to them. You hear their problems so you can help in any way you can. Act accordingly.
2. Add immediate & real value. Meeting people is about making their lives better. Whether that’s by giving them a smile, a new job, your favorite book, a free logo sketch for their new business or anything in between – there is a way to help everyone. See everyone as a chance to add value. Give like crazy, embrace generosity and make others more successful.
3. Know what matters to them. Do your research. The more specific your help can be, the better. This comes from learning all you can about the people you want to meet. Not to manipulate, but so you can actually do something meaningful for them. Read their blogs and books, take their courses, sign up for their newsletters, learn about their interests, family, passions and charity work. Anything is game. With today’s online tools, there is no excuse not to learn about someone before trying to interact with them. Rapport become instantaneous.
4. Find common ground. Everyone has something in common. See it as a fun challenge to find what it is. The faster you can find shared ideas, beliefs and interests, the quicker you can relate. Start with a common school, restaurant, home town or favorite TV show. Continue to go deeper.
5. Pay attention. The easiest way to be interesting is to be interested. Find excitement in what you can learn from others. Hear what they say. Listen and learn about what matters to them. Not so you can say  something back as soon as possible, but so you can get a window into their world. People want to tell their story. Be the person excited to hear it.
6. Show your passion. You must be interesting. The best way to do this (aside from listening like crazy) is by embracing your passions, working towards an idea or cause and having a set of beliefs you’re deeply excited about that you openly share with others. Passion is an entire module in How to Connect with Anyone for just this reason. No one likes talking to lemmings. Live and connect with passion. This is the surest way to be someone worth talking to, and everyone is capable of it.
7. Be uniquely YOU. Don’t try to look and sound like someone else, and don’t hold back! Be vulnerable and open. Share your real story and goals. Tell others about your wife, kids and parenting struggles. Talking about the weather does not build connection. Being real does.
8. Use the most important word in the world. Remember their names. Nothing feels better than hearing your own name, especially from someone you just met. And “I’m not good with names,” does not fly. No one is good with names unless they practice! Write them down the second you hear them. Repeat it out loud. Associate a fun image or idea with the person. Do whatever it takes to remember. Sadly, this alone puts you on a whole new level.
9. Be the connector. Bring groups together. Host events. Introduce friends who have similar interests. Make it your job to bring the right people together. There is no more powerful service you can provide.
10. Lead an interesting life. Live a life worth hearing about – most importantly for you, but for those around you as well. Do things you don’t normally do. Just being in new surroundings will cause you to interact with a new group of people without even trying. The more things you do and try, the more things you’ll have to talk about and the more fun you’ll have!
11. Tell stories. People connect on energy and emotion, not facts and stats. Communicate with stories as often as possible and encourage others to tell theirs. Know the fun stories of your life and share them with others.
12. Wear a conversation piece. I’m not saying you wear a pair of swim goggles on your forehead (although that would certainly get attention), but having something that’s visibly and uniquely you, can give people a fun thing to talk about. Like the guy Scott who wears a name tag every day. When people ask why he has his name written on his shirt, he replies “so people ask about it – it makes meeting people super easy.” Maybe for you it’s crazy dress shirts, a bow tie or a fun hat. I always tip with two-dollar bills – one of the easiest ways to make someone’s day. Instant smile.
13. Be grateful and say thank you. Never miss an opportunity to thank people for even the smallest things, and especially if they helped you with something important. We withhold gratitude far too often. I am constantly sending short texts, emails, books, gifts and notes to people for things they’ve done for me, others or the world in general. Learn unique ways to show thanks. Everyone loves being appreciated.
14. See friends, not strangers. When you walk into a room, see the new faces not as strangers but as friends you have yet to meet. You see the world in a more similar way to others than you probably realize, especially if you’re at the same event or a part of the same communities. Approach accordingly.
15. Care about people. None of the above matters if you don’t actually care about the people around you. If you don’t care about the person being a part of your life, you likely won’t do any of this stuff. If we’re going to connect in a powerful way, we must reframe the way we look at people.
16. Show up (ideally, in the physical world). Connections don’t happen in your house or office. You must get out there, say hello and reach out. This can start with emails and online connecting, but that’s only the very beginning. Nothing makes a more powerful impact than meeting in the flesh. Don’t hide behind technology. Get out of your office and from behind the computer, work from a coffee shop instead of your living room and be in the places where other passionate people hang out.

9mm Luger: European popgun round that’s only popular because the ammo is cheap

9mm Luger:  European popgun round that’s only popular because the ammo is cheap for a centerfire cartridge.  Cheap ammo is a good thing for 9mm aficionados, because anything bigger and more dangerous than a cranky raccoon will likely require multiple well-placed hits.  Wildly popular all over the world, mostly in countries where people don’t carry guns, and cops don’t have to actually shoot people with theirs.

.45ACP:  Chunky low-pressure cartridge that hogs magazine space and requires a low-capacity design (if the gun needs to fit human hands) or a grip with the circumference of a two-liter soda bottle (if the gun needs to hold more than seven rounds).  Disturbingly prone to bullet setback, expensive to reload, fits only into big and clunky guns, and a recoil that has an inversely proportionate relationship with muzzle energy.

.40S&W:  Neutered compromise version of a compromise cartridge.  Even more setback-happy than the .45ACP, and setbacks are much more dangerous because of higher pressure and smaller case volume.  Manages to sacrifice both the capacity of the 9mm and the bullet diameter of the .45.  Twice the recoil of the 9mm for 10% more muzzle energy. 

.357SIG:  Highly overpriced boutique round that does the .40S&W one worse: it manages to share the capacity penalty of the .40 while retaining the small bullet diameter of the 9mm.  Noisy, sharp recoil, and 100% cost penalty for ballistics that can be matched by a good 9mm +P+ load.  Penetrates like the dickens, which means that the Air Marshals just had to adopt it…only to load their guns with frangible bullets to make sure they don’t penetrate like the dickens. 

.38 Special:  Legacy design with a case length that’s 75% longer than necessary for the mediocre ballistics of the round due to its blackpowder heritage.  On the plus side, the case length makes it easy to handle when reloading the gun.  This is a good thing because anyone using their .38 in self-defense against a 250-pound attacker hopped up on crack will need to empty the gun multiple times.

.32ACP:  Inadequate for anything more thick-skinned than Northeastern squirrels or inbred Austrian archdukes.  Semi-rimmed cartridge that is rimlock-happy in modern lightweight autoloaders.  Doesn’t go fast enough to expand a hollowpoint bullet, and it wouldn’t matter even if it did, because the bullet would only expand from tiny to small-ish.

.44 Magnum:  Overpowered round that generates manageable recoil and muzzle blast…if you’re a 300-pound linebacker with wrists like steel girders.  Often loaded to “Lite” levels that turn it into a noisy .44 Special while retaining the ego-preserving Magnum headstamp.  Considered the “most powerful handgun cartridge in the world” by people whose gun knowledge is either stuck in 1960, or who get their expertise in ballistics from Dirty Harry movies.

10mm Auto:  Super-high pressure cartridge that beats up gun and shooter alike.  Very brisk recoil in anything other than all-steel S&W boat anchors, with a shot recovery that’s measured in geological epochs for most handgun platforms.  Often underloaded to wimpy levels (see “.40 S&W”), which then gives it 9mm ballistics while requiring .45ACP magazine real estate.

.380ACP/9mm Kurz:  Designed by people who thought the 9mm Luger was a bit too brisk and snappy, which is pretty much all that needs to be said here.  Great round if you expect to only ever be attacked by people less than seven inches thick from front to back.

.357 Magnum:  Lots of recoil, muzzle blast, and noise to drive a 9mm bullet to reckless speeds in an attempt to make up for its low mass and diameter.  Explosive fragmentation and insufficient penetration with light bullets; excessive penetration and insufficient expansion with heavy ones.  Still makes only 9mm holes in the target.

5.7x28mm:  Ingenious way to make a centerfire .22 Magnum and then charge quadruple price for the same ballistics.  Awesome chambering for a police weapon…if you’re the park ranger in charge of the chipmunk exhibit at the zoo, and you want to make sure you can take one down if it turns rabid on you.

.25ACP:  Direct violation of the maxim “Never do an enemy a minor injury”.  Designed by folks who wanted to retain the bullet diameter of the .22 rimfire round, but take a bit of the excessive lethality out of it.  Favored by people who don’t feel comfortable carrying anything more dangerous than the neighbor kid’s rusty Red Ryder pellet gun.

M14/M1A: Clunky, heavy, and overpowered. Essentially a Garand tarted up

M14/M1A: Clunky, heavy, and overpowered.  Essentially a Garand tarted up with a removable magazine, in a half-baked attempt to adapt a 19th century rifle design philosophy to the mid-20th century.  Most often named as favorite infantry rifle by people who never had to hump a 10-pound wood-stocked rifle with lots of sharp protrusions and no collapsible anything on a three day exercise, or try to make it through a firefight with the standard battle load of five 20-round magazines.

AK-47: Crude and inaccurate bullet thrower designed by and for illiterate peasants.  Chambered in a caliber that manages to cut the ballistics of a proper .30-caliber battle rifle in half without passing on any weight savings to the grunt.  Ergonomics only suitable for Russian midgets.  Archaic cable trigger spring, crummy sights, no sight radius to speak of, no bolt hold-open device, and a clumsy safety.  Favorite infantry rifle of Middle Eastern goat herders, guys named Abdullah, and backwoods militia types who like the fact that it shoots cheap ammo and has ballistics like their familiar .30-30.

H&K G-3/HK-91: Ergonomics of a railroad tie.  No bolt release, and a locking system that requires three men and a mule to work the cocking handle.  Fluted chamber that mauls brass, and violent bolt motion that dings the brass that didn’t get mauled too badly by the chamber.  Stamped sheet metal construction, yet just as heavy as a milled steel M14.  Safety lever that requires unnaturally long thumbs, and a trigger pull that feels like dragging a piano across a gravel road with your index finger.  Favorite infantry rifle of Cold War nostalgics and third world commandos.

M-16/AR-15: Underpowered varmint rifle burdened by a crummy magazine design.  Nasty direct-impingement gas system that poops where it eats.  High sight line, flimsy alloy-and-plastic construction.  Generally favored by range commandos, tactical disciples, military vets who have never fired anything else for comparison, and Brownells addicts who a.) enjoy spending three times the cost on the rifle on bolt-on accoutrements, and b.) never have to use their rifle away from a dry, sunny range.

G-36: Flimsy plastic rifle with non-user adjustable fair-weather optics that fog up when a gnat farts in front of them.  Magazines that take up twice as much pouch space than others in the same caliber because of the "clever" coupling nubs on the magazine housing.  Skeleton folding stock that is about as suitable for butt-stroking as a plastic mess spork.  Twice as expensive as other rifles in its class because of the "HK" logo on the receiver.  Preferred infantry rifle of SWAT cops, and soldiers whose militaries haven’t been in shooting conflicts since the 1940s.

Glock: Butt-ugly plastic shooting appliance with the ergonomics of a caulking gun.  Five-pound trigger with no external safety makes it ill-suited for its target market (cops who shoot a hundred rounds a year for qualification).  Favored by gangbangers because the product name is short and rhymes with other short, rap-friendly words.

Beretta 92F/M9: Clunky and overweight rip-off of a clunky and overweight German design from the 1930s.  Shear-happy locking block, ergonomics that are only suited for linebackers, barely adequate sights that are partially non-replaceable, and low capacity for its size.  Favored by Eighties action movie fanatics and John Woo freaks.

1911: Overweight and overly complex piece of late 19th century technology.  Low capacity, useless sights in stock form, and a field-stripping procedure that requires three hands.  Favored by people who are at the cutting edge of handgun technology and combat shooting…of the 1960s.

H&K P7: Wildly overpriced, heavy for its size, low capacity in most iterations, and blessed with a finish that rusts if you give the gun a moist glance.  Gas tube has a tendency to roast the trigger finger after a box or two of ammo at the range.  Favored by gun snobs who think that paying twice as much for half the rounds means four times the fighting skill.

SIG Sauer: Top-heavy bricks with the rust resistance of an untreated iron nail at the bottom of a bucket of saltwater.  Ergonomically sound, if you have size XXL mitts.  Some minor parts made in Germany, so the manufacturer can charge 75% Teutonic Gnome Magic premium.  Favored by Jack Bauer fans and wannabe Sky Marshals/Secret Service agents.

Did I leave anyone out?  Feel free to add to the list.  Let’s not, however, have an argument about how very wrong I am about your favorite blaster, because, hey, I’m not.

Disclaimer: I’ve owned multiple copies of most of the designs mentioned above, and I think they’re all fine and dandy designs.  However, a good debater can take both sides of an argument at the drop of a hat, so take it as an exercise in debating skills, and try to pick nits about your particular darling.  Ready?  Go!

S&W Revolvers:  Archaic hand weapons from a bygone era, the missing link between flintlocks and autoloaders.  Low capacity, and reloading requires a lunch break.  Heavy for their capacity, unless you’re talking about airweight snubbies, which hurt as much on the giving end as they do on the receiving end.  Rare stoppages, but few malfunctions that don’t require gunsmith services, which are hard to come by in a gunfight.  Favored by crusty old farts who just now got around to trusting newfangled smokeless powder, and Dirty Harry fans with unrealistic ideas about the power of Magnum rounds vs. engine blocks.

SMLE/Enfield:  Refinement of a 19th century blackpowder design.  Weapon of choice for militaries who either couldn’t afford Mausers, or had ideological hangups about Kraut rifles.  Rimlock-prone cartridge that only barely classifies as a battle rifle round because of blackpowder derivation and insufficient lock strength of the platform.  Favored by Canadians with WWII nostalgia, and people who think that semi-auto rifles are a passing fad.

Browning HP:  Fragile frame designed around a popgun round.  Near-useless safety in stock form that’s only suitable for the thumbs of elementary schoolers.  Strangest and most circuitous way to trip a sear ever put into a handgun.  Favored by wannabe SAS commandos, wannabe mercenaries, and Anglophiles who think that hammer-down, chamber-empty carry is the most appropriate way to carry a defensive sidearm.

Benelli shotguns:  Plastic boutique scatterguns made by people with the martial acumen of dairy cows.  Hideously expensive, and therefore popular with police agencies that get their equipment financed by tax dollars. 

FN FAL:  Long and lightweight receiver that’s impossible to scope properly.  Overpowered round, twenty-round magazines that run dry in a blink, and an overall weapon length that’s only suitable for Napoleonic line infantry, but utterly useless for airborne and armored infantry.  Made by Belgians, a nation with a military history that is limited to waving German divisions through at the border.  Favored by Falklands veterans, Commonwealth fanboys, and people who think that dial-a-recoil gas systems are the epitome of infantry technology.

Look we are going to get this shit under control.

Look we are going to get this shit under control.

1st off. You are capable. Let's get that straight, and don't give me or yourself any excuses. You are fucking capable.

2nd. Get pissed. I mean it pissed off. You deserve better. That's right you. Time to get selfish. This is your life and it isn't going to get better unless you do something about it, and you are fucking going to do something about it because you are worth it.

3rd. The race is with no one but yourself. It's long, and it isn't about anyone but you.

4th. Get up early in the morning. Don't stay up late. You need your rest and you need to attack the day. Go to bed like midnight. Straight up gremlins rules. You want to be rested and ready to go so be in bed by 11:30. No caffeine after 9:00 PM.

1. When your alarm goes off feet hit the floor. Immediately it's the best trick I ever learned. Alarm off. Feet hit floor. You are up.
2. Next thing you do is exercise. Cardio for 30 minutes. That's all you need. Walk around your dorm/apartment complex. Go to the track. Ride your bike. Just move. You want to move forward than you have got to move.
3. Eat a good breakfast. This is your fuel for the day. Your body is the most valuable thing you own. Put premium petrol in that motherfucker.
4. Success is about doing the small things consistently to improve. There is no other blueprint. People look at the big picture and then look at their life and that's where discouragement happens. Fuck the big picture. Focus on the small things you can control and the big picture will come into focus. If you try to chase greatness you will never catch it because you aren't chasing the right thing. Chase effort. Effort leads to results, chase effort and greatness will start chasing you.
5. Focus on doing the small things and developing strong routines. Study, go to tutoring/study groups. Fuck that introvert shit this is about learning, and your mind needs nourishment.
6. Get pissed at video games. Get rid of steam, sell your xbox / console. Uninstall all that stuff. You know what you are missing? Fucking nothing. You will be missing a time sinkhole of button mashing where buttons are pressed and nothing ever really is accomplished as there is another game and another game and another game. Fuck that shit. Your life and time are valuable, and only things that grow you as a person will hold your attention.
7. Eat lunch and keep hydrated, eat snacks like almonds and things for extra boost.
8. Chunk down large tasks into small manageable bites. You have to read 12 chapters. Set an hour for two chapters. Break for 10 minutes. Write down what you learned. Go into hour two the same way. Break things down into small chunks and smash the fuck out of them. Let that momentum build.
9. Be obsessed with doing the small things well and be passionate about challenges. No Pressure, No Diamonds. Embrace adversity and be passionate to show yourself that you are mother fucking baller and can get shit done. Setbacks happen, but it isn't about the setback... it's how you respond to it. Do you tuck your tail between your legs, fuck no you don't. You get after it harder.

What to do if you fall through the ice.

The initial cold shock will cause you to start gasping and hyperventilating, it's very important to keep your head above water so you don't get a mouthful of water while hyperventilating. This lasts 1 to 3 minutes.

Go back to the section of ice you fell in from. It was holding you before you fell in, so it's the only place you know can support you.

Don't try and just pull yourself out, not sure why, but homeboy just tried and said he couldn't do it.

Instead, kick your legs like you're swimming, try and get your body horizontal, then drag yourself out.

Once you get out, don't stand up as there's too much weight on too small an area and you could crack more ice and fall back in. Roll away for a while, then crawl.

If you can't get out, make things easier for someone to help by keeping as much of your body out of the water as possible. He had his arms resting on top of the ice.

You'll become unconscious and drown before you die of hypothermia, so try and rest your arms on the ice and hope they'll freeze there so you don't slide back in.

If you're rescuing someone who fell in, get a rope or a long branch to assist. You don't want to get too close and risk falling in yourself.

So a moth goes into a podiatrists office.

So a moth goes into a podiatrists office.

"Come in," says the podiatrist, "What's the problem?"

The moth drops down into the nearest chair. The podiatrist says "What's the problem?

The moth says, “I don't even know where to start. First of all, my boss is a vicious tyrant who gets off on the petty torments he puts me through day in and day out, and I'm too spineless to stand up to him, so I just take it and I've gradually come to hate myself for it. Also, every morning I wake up to the same prune-face old crone to whom I pledged my vows so many years ago. I used to love her, but that love has become like some sun-festering beached whale trying to die. We lost our daughter last year to one of the bitterest, coldest winters we've ever had to face in this region. Isn't it funny, doc, how all the prayer circles and charity drives in the world amount to pretty much nothing in the face of that cold, impartial face of winter, that bleak, pounding, harsh fist of a callous environment, carrying on with its machinations without regard to our lives, loves, hopes and dreams? Isn't that hysterical, Doc? “

“And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc, my other boy I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes all I see is the same cowardice that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only the cowardice was stronger, then perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all. “

“Believe me, Doc, I'd be doing the world a favor. I have nothing to look forward to but a continuation of this spiraling black hole that is my life, this existential cesspool that is the perpetuation of my lingering skid-mark on society. I despise people yet I crave their approval. I'm judgmental yet I care about nothing. I'm bitter, hateful and afraid. I'm alive yet I feel like the walking dead. This is it, Doc: I am a living, breathing, disease."

“Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging onto my web of everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good.”

The doctor stares at him for a while then finally says "Jeez, Moth, you definitely have some problems. But I'm a podiatrist. You need a psychiatrist. Why'd you come in here?"

The moth says, “Well, your light was on."

Douchebag Debating Techniques. Be Aware.

ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS
Post should come from the apparent position of unconcern.
An effective strategy is deviating to a typically banal topic as more concerning or interesting.

ATTACK THE SOURCE
Undermine the credibility of the source either through misleading evidence or condescension.
This is especially effective for users who view comments first.

BASELESS INSULT
Post should be derogatory, while the actual approach can vary, with condescension being one of the most effective methods for reddit.
This is apparently ineffectual on the surface, but has a cumulative social effect of the feeling of being isolated.
This is an effective tactic for evoking apathy and hopelessness in dissenters over time.

BLAME DISTRIBUTION
Point out that absolute blame cannot be established for any one source.
This will create a perception of shared responsibility, thereby inhibiting specific criticism.
This is an excellent means of establishing apathy and hopelessness.

CLAIM VICTIMIZATION
Whether self or other, claiming the position of a victim in relation to dissent can play on emotions.
This is an effective tactic for deviating away from the original discussion.

COMMAND O' THE CHAIN
Using any number of methods, pull users into chained replies that deviate from the original topic whenever possible.
This is highly effective for diverting readers from more relevant, informative posts.

CONFIDENT DENIAL
Respond by denying the user's claims by claiming they are incorrect without providing evidence to the contrary.
This can give some uninformed users the impression of authority on the topic, thereby contributing to apathy and hopelessness.

CONVENIENT CONFUSION
Post from the apparent perspective of someone confused or unable to connect the dots on the issue.
A great tactic for deriving additional language from a dissenter in order to exploit and discredit them.

DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT _____
Indicate a superior understanding of the topic being discussed from a place of confident unconcern.
It is preferable to choose a position that cannot be disproved by Joe Public, i.e. exclusive knowledge
Users will infer that the concerns are ill founded, thereby damaging credibility.

GENERALIZE AND MARGINALIZE OPINIONS
Play on existing perceptions of subreddits and reddit as a whole to marginalize dissent.
Some common examples include simply referring to: /r/atheism[2] , /r/politics[3] , /r/worldnews[4] , "the hive mind"
Additionally, the post need not even exist in one of these subreddits for this approach to be used.

HOLOCAUST WINS
A well established approach to deflecting comparisons involving Nazis, Hitler, and the Holocaust.
Response should typically appear to be from a place of condescension or emotion.

ISN'T GIFT WRAPPED
Attack the argument's presentation, typically as uncivil, aggressive, rude, etc.
Should angry dissent continue to present itself, utilize this reaction to further justify your point.
This is an effective tactic for increasing frustration and apathy.

LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT A.K.A. FALSE OPTION
Respond with a false alternative solution to the issues being addressed.

NOSTRADOWNVOTES
Predict behavior of "The Hive Mind" with certainty.

NOT THE SOURCE
An effective strategy for countering specific criticism.
Response should indicate that the criticism is not directed at the real root of the issue.
Never define the root of the issue.

OTHER COUNTRIES DO IT
A means of distributing blame amongst multiple parties, so as to lessen the contrast (and perception) of negativity.
Response should indicate that the issue being called into question occurs all over the world.
Pointing out duration can be especially useful when said issue has existed elsewhere prior.

PERPETUATE APATHY
Establish or support the idea that there is no potential solution to a problem, or that the chosen solution will not work (without establishing an alternative to take its place).
This should typically be done from the apparent perspective of someone with a realistic or skeptical worldview.

REPRESENTATIVE
Speak from the apparent perspective of the majority of users.
This is effective for garnering support from uncertain redditors willing to go with the apparent flow.

TECHNICALITY
State literal facts while completely avoiding the context.
If appropriately constructed, false context will be inferred by the uninformed, and the informed will be hesitant to argue with a technicality.

X IS WORSE
An effective means of sidetracking a discussion.
This is especially useful when the new topic addresses an issue that might be much more difficult to resolve or has no apparent resolution.
Additionally, this can overwhelm some users as they feel focusing on a single issue (when there are much larger ones) will accomplish little.